Thoughts

Amazing what things go through your mind when you are waiting for your sweet much wanted and anticipated baby to be taken from your body. One of the things I have been working on is what to do to remember my angel. I hid away all the reminders on my computer last night so they wouldnt be in my face but felt guilty about that and it's not fair for me to sweep this under the rug. This was my baby with all his little fingers and toes after all. So I have made a few decisions. One is I am going to get a little box of some sort to put my u/s pictures in and a copy of each of the pictures I took of each 4 wks that have passed since I found out I was pregnant. I hadnt bought anything except two sets of binkies so I will add the set for whatever the baby turns out to be. I have also decided that if there is any way we can get the baby's remains I want them to be creamated so we can decide what to do with our angel. I am going to order a treasure bean http://www.treasurebeans.com/ to keep with me and I might even order one for Andrew, Evan, Jacob and possibly Avery. I also want a piece of jewlery that I can always wear I havent decided what I want but I have started to look. I will always have Hope that we will get through this and be blessed with another baby. I bought a little willow tree piece when I found out I was pg with Elliana and it is something I hold strongly too. The joy of the Lord is my strength.