So I am an addict....

Yes I admit it I need POS rehab. I mean really how many tests does one person need to take? I mean shouldn't one be enough? NAH..... I won't share how many I have taken because it just starts to get scary and well then I have to admit Have a problem and all that goes with that; the not buying tests, the not peeing on the stick ya know. Anyhow seems everything is going well. I still worry because that is what we do for sure through the first trimester. The tests are nice and dark so that bodes well and just going to ride the waiting rollercoaster until my first appt and hopefully that goes perfectly.

POS addict and more

Ok so.. I forgot how addicting it is to pee on that stick and see those two lines come up. I won't share out of embarrasement how many tests I have taken I mean after all I am posting some so it is somewhat obvious but I will let your mind wander as to whether there are more. Oh and Yes, yes it is all coming back to me now. I so am not fond of the first trimester. I forgot how moody and mean I get and how often I just am intolerant of everyone and everything. Not my favorite time in that sense, I feel so bad for my poor kids living with dr jekell and mr hyde. Nausea is still here LOL well it should be anyhow so it is what it is. I am ok accept eating and then it really so far is more of a ok time to stop eating this just isnt sitting right. Not bad in the tired department which is good but we will see how that is in a week or so. Ummm losing weight right now but no biggie I have plenty to lose. Other then that, just waiting for that first ob appt.

small update

Dr called and I am to stay on the progesterone through the first trimester. So just riding the chugging along train. I will try to do pictures of tests and LOL me at 4 wks. I am going to try to do every 4 wks to start and then every couple towards the end though well facts are facts and right now I just look fat:)

14dpo

Took two more tests this morning and still positive. I am feeling pretty good about things. I called the OB office this morning and they called me back. No betas, I am waiting to hear whether he wants me to do progesterone the first tri or not. I have my first appt scheduled for June 14th with the other Dr. D who is truly my favorite dr. Definitely naueseous. I am so excited and nervous and well all those things that go along with doing this again. God is good and I will continue to give him the glory for this blessing as well as pray that all goes well and we have a healthy pregnancy and delivery. I will try to get test pics posted later today. Silly blog uploader hasnt been working.

Evening update

I took two tests this afternoon both positive so I am feeling much better. Add all the lovely nausea and feeling pretty good about it LOL even if I am not feeling good in general. So I will test tomorrow and call the OB in the morning for progesterone and see if they want my blood or not.

13 dpo

Crappy test this morning with the clearblue early. So of course now you know I will be off to get more tests. What's a girl to do? LOL I suppose go to the dr and get a beta but I really don't want to go through that. I will take a test again today with a different brand and go from there, I do hate this. I suppose the good is I still feel good about this time, the bad is I think it will be a lot harder if this goes wrong. So here we go again on this roller coaster ride

12 DPO BFP

Well much to my surprise I got a BFP this afternoon. I am a bit shocked to say the least since I thought no way was this the month after the horrible CM etc. I caved and tested today because the dr gave me a script for a med that I wasn't sure if it was safe to take in pregnancy. So I figured I would test and see what the results were and go from there regarding taking the med. So I tested and got a BFP, checked the med and found out it was a class C so nope, none of that med. Hopefully I will feel better soon. A friend suggested extra strength mucinex so that is what I will do along with the inhaler etc which is safe. So far I feel good about this. For the most part I seem to have an idea from early on whether it's a keeper or not and so far I haven't been wrong. Praying so very hard that this is it and all will go perfectly.

Mother's Day 11 dpo

Can you believe I have made it through the day without testing? A miracle for sure! In my little mind I was going through the usual well wouldn't it be perfect to find out on Mother's day? How exciting that would be. Then my real brain kicked in and said first dummy it would totally ruin it for you if the test was negative. Second you said you were waiting till Tuesday it's two more days man up and deal with it. So that is what I am doing. Two days won't kill me and on Tuesday when the test is negative I can just not take the prometrium that night and wait for AF to show. LOL Perfect. Well all in all its been a great mothers day I have been blessed and had a great day so what more could I really ask for today? BFP? Sure that would be totally awesome but frankly its been a wonderful day even without one.

yucky

Having a yucky day. Some nausea and a headache today. I refuse to read anything in to anything at this point. To many months of disappointment for me to read anything more in to it. Expecting to test next Tuesday and go from there. I have the clomid here ready to go. So just waiting. LOL story of my life right now. Wait to ovulate, wait to test, wait for af. UGH

waiting, wonderful, whiney

LOL about sums it up, its that kind of a Sunday. We had a great day at church but again I am not convinced that its where we belong. Though I do really like the church and find it doctrinally sound one thing they do not do is communion. IMO it's important and its something that I think should be partaken in the Christian church. So I need to talk to the pastor about that and go from there. Though DD#1 has already said she wants to be confirmed so we need to figure out where to do that and what direction to go in. If we really want to stay with Joey's church we will likely have her take confirmation through the UMC in town. If we decide to go to one of the two Lutheran churches I want to try then it won't matter. I just keep praying that God leads me in the right direction and weighs on my heart the way to go. I feel like I can't quite find what I want and wonder if my standards are to high. It's tough to figure all this out and to know what to trust. Lastly I am having serious hormone swings its crazy LOL its going to be a long trying 10 more days. This is definitely trying and I pray that God blesses us this month. Waiting, waiting, waiting.......