two week wait

Should began tomorrow. I have to start my progesterone on Friday and then we will see see what happens. Good thing is it will be a nice busy most of the two week wait. Just have to pray that this is it. I am so done with the whole cycle. All I can do is keep praying. The last few days have been really uncomfortable uterine wise so I am hoping that, that is a good sign too. Waiting.... waiting.... waiting.....

Day 19

Got a positive OPK yesterday which was really exciting for me. I really wasn't sure it would happen now. So getting busy and we will see what happens. On a funny side note. Hubby has no clue I am ovulating, however he is totally wanting to bd. Joked about all the pheromones and how attracted to me he is. So we will see if this is it this month. I am sure hoping it is:) Two week wait is about to come in a few days.

Day 16

Really not a lot today. Still just waiting, body changes are happening so I am pretty sure I should ovulate in the next week. Clomid is definitely bringing ovulation on sooner and stronger. So the lp should be longer again, so just have to get the timing right. It feels like a good month LOL I have a couple friends who believe this is the month, and I don't think I noted earlier in my writings this cycle if I ovulate when I think I should then I will be do Christmas day, wouldnt that just be the neatest thing. Conceived on Easter and born on Christmas:) Of course that wouldn't likely be the case since I would have a section a couple weeks before but the thought just makes me smile. So praying for the next week to pass quickly, of course it will since I am getting ready for Easter here with all the family but still I really don't like the wait time and then the two weeks after that, thank goodness one will be taken up with having my sister here:)

Day 14

Ok yeah so Clomid is making me a bit pyscho this time. Its a first for sure. I am moody beyond belief and very short tempered. I am working on quelling it for what is worth and boy will I be glad to get through this cycle. I am sure praying that this cycle is it. I am not looking forward to doing another month of it so I really hope that this cycle is it and I can be past the garbage and maybe not such a grouch. Please please let O come soon LOL it has to ease the nasties too. I think about a week!

argh an explanation that needs to be given

I swear sometimes I wonder about my luck. I had this all written out once and now I have to do it again@@. Ok so I was reading my posts from the beginning and realized that I needed to address the subject of fertility drugs since I had posted intially about not using them yet I am on my second month of clomid. So I am now on cycle 4 since my cycles have returned the first two both had luetal phases of 8 days. Now if you don't know much about how things work here is the low down. The second half of a woman's cycle is considered normal if its between 10 and 14 days. Mine were 8. Now what does this mean you ask? It means that if sperm and egg met that with a LP of 8 days there would be little to no chance that it would implant and go on to be a succesful pregnancy. Now what does clomid do? Well clomid does several things it can help with ovulation, it can create stronger ovulation, it can bring ovulation earlier in the cycle and it can also help to increase a luetal phase. So I took it last cycle and this cycle as well as prometrium, its not time for that yet this cycle but with both of them my cycle length increased to 14 days or 13 but it was definitely much longer than the previous two. So that is why I am taking clomid right now to help increase my luetal phase to make the odds the best to allow for implantation and a sucessful pregnancy.

AHHH how times change

I was just reading my first post and realized if anyone went from point a to point b to hey hopefully point c they would be thinking alrighty then... So I guess I better clarify this for my own thoughts as well as so the understanding is there. I have started clomid again. I am in the middle of my fourth cycle now and have used clomid the last two. Now a couple things about clomid. Clomid is an ovulatory drug that helps support ovulation, improve egg quality and it also helps to shorten ovulatory cycles that are to long and most of all and the primary reason I am taking it again is because it helps to lengthen LPD's. A lpd aka as luetal phase defect is a problem with a womans second half of her cycle. Basically if your second half of your cycle isnt long enough then implantation can't take place and you could be pregnant but the baby will not have a chance to implant and grow because your body will signal nothing is there and that its time for your period even when it isn't which is what has been happening to me. I am getting my period 8 days after I ovulate. Average is 10-14, so the clomid and prometrium help to deal with that problem in hopes of creating a good enough enviroment that an implantation will take place and be successful both things in conjunction with each other give a higher chance of success. I am willing to do whatever it takes to assure that if a pregnancy occurs that it has the best chance of survival. So clomid it is!

Day 11

So day 11 done with clomid so its now the waiting game. I am feeling surprisingly calm right now. Busy with getting things ready for Easter and for my bff/sisters visit beginning of the month. Going to be a crazy couple weeks, lots to do. I guess that is good since it will keep me busy instead of waiting for O. Though I have to say that I almost rather be busy in the two week wait LOL. Praying for a positive outcome, hahahaha get it positive outcome. Alright just waiting.

day 6

I got that reminder today of who is truly in control:) I am good with it and hey maybe that is a sign in itself. So requests for today... Praying that I ovulate by day 28 LOL 18 would be awesome and it was happening regularly when we were trying for Elliana so its not like it is totally out of the realm of expectations. Pray that I get pregnant this cycle. I have been feeling so let down lately and I know I shouldn't but it is so hard to when you start to want something so badly and each time the chance comes and goes without success, its devastating. I really would love twins this round but at this point I will take whatever.

cd 4

Well after last months ridiculous never ending period of 8 days this month I am ending a bit early go figure. Love the incosistency but anyhow guess I shouldnt complain other than the horrible bleeding for two days this hasn't been a bad period at all so now its back to the wait. I do think that last months bleeding was probably a m/c due to the short LPD I am waiting to talk to a friend to ask her a couple questions to get an idea. I don't believe I need the rhogham since implantation never took place and if it did it never was long enough to even get a pos test so the wait is on for O. Praying it comes by day 22 again it would be nice not having to wait over 30 days to ovulate. Here comes the wait again.........

What a day

Yesterday could be summed up in two words IT SUCKED!!! I called my gyn about starting my period and requested to be given clomid and was told he wanted me to wait another cycle, talk about being devastated. I know the only reason I ovulated as soon as I did last cycle was because of the clomid I had. I was so upset. Chances are this will be another 40+ day cycle and so much time will be wasted while I wait for ovulation basically I lose two months instead of one. I am really getting frustrated and just plain ole defeated because that truly is the best way to describe how I feel, defeated. I keep praying and asking for another blessing but I just don't feel heard. It's such a struggle and my heart aches so much right now. My period is terribly heavy as well I am buring through pads like crazy and that doesnt help my mood either. I am glad I have a place to come and just voice it all, I have cried a lot the last couple days. Still praying for that new blessing and wondering if I will ever get it.

CD1

Yep sure is. I am upset but what can you do. It is what it is so here we go again. I will probably only do this truly active trying a few more months before I throw the towel in and just give in to the fact that maybe Isabella is our last one. Craig has always had motility issues so maybe it's that and thats just the plan. Anyhow not throwing in the towel just yet. Here we go again. Continuing to pray that God blesses us with another gift very soon.

negative test

Well after some spotting last night I decided to test today and much to my disappointment the test is negative so I am pretty sure that its a do over yet again. Calling the doctor and letting him know I am having break through spotting and see where he wants to go from here especially being that were heading in to the weekend and what if I need scripts etc to start clomid again. So I will call tomorrow let them know and go from there. December baby again? LOL NOT my favorite month to have a baby but hey if that is what it is to be then thats what it is to be. Hoping it's soon, the waiting is so darn frustrating, though I know it shouldnt be I am not exactly a spring chicken anymore. I just wish it was as easy as Isabella and boom surprise, I was pregnant! I will add when there is something to add. Time, time, time.....

11dpo or 12

LOL Whatever! Fertility friend has it as 12 I say 11 anyhow... I have been having lots of early cramping like period cramping and diarrhea. I just don't know what to think and am bracing myself for a BFN though I know I am going to be very disappointed if it is. I really do hate "trying" it just is so overwhelming. I LOVED how I got pg with Isabella and was totally amazed that I was pg and it was just so well simple. I just don't know. I wish I remembered how it was with Elliana I remember the basics like we had been trying and it was my fourth cycle after my miscarriage but I really don't remember anything much leading up to it other than thinking it wasn't the month, so I must not have been having many symptoms at that point. Anyhow I will probably test on Saturday and if it's negative stop the progesterone so my period can come. I am just really hopeful that it isn't negative... Still waiting 3 more days till testing again.

Technically 10 dpo

So the farthest I have made it in 3 cycles so still time will tell. I really hate the wait. I think we all do though. So I am thinking if I test in four days it should be accurate but I will likely still wait until Monday when I run out of progesterone and test one more time but its just the wait. So continuing to pray that I get a bfp but whatever happens it will be ok. Still waiting, waiting, waiting.......

8 dpo

Well I seem to have made it through the day with no spot so that's a start but I am not feeling hopeful. I am having just some light cramping discomfort and I am starting to feel discouraged that this either isn't the month or the progesterone isn't enough to hold off a period or to support a pregnancy. All I can do is pray and put it in God's hands but I tell you its a bit overwhelming right now. I really wanted this to be the month. Praying that this is all just a normal whatever and I get a bfp at the end of the week. It's going to be a long one no question. 5 days and counting......

2 dpo

Or so I believe. Started the progesterone today so now its a matter of wait and see and pray that it works and I get a positive test this month. 3rd cycle trying this time and I really think last time was likely a "pregnant" month but with the short LPD it didn't have a chance. Sunday is D day its when I have gotten my period the last 2 cycles so hopefully I will get that reprieve. I know I ovulated strong, I was crampy, waiting waiting waiting