not such a bad day

Today has actually been pretty good. I still can't look at pregnant women I turn my eyes away as fast as I can. Its just easier for me, my heart aches when I see one. My belly should be swollen and I should be feeling my angel now. Its a hard pill to swallow. The pain isnt as sharp today which is good. I like good days. I am working on school work and bracing myself for the fourth chapter, the one I am dreading. Its on fetal development from conception to birth. I am just obviously not looking forward to it. So if your reading today pray for me. I don't expect it to be an easy chapter. I miss my baby and I should be reading it smiling that wow that is where my sweet baby is and in awe of her growth instead of dreading it because of the pain its sure to bring. Pray, pray, pray!