2 DPO

Psalms 118:14 (KJV)The LORD is my strength and song, and he has become my salvation. can we get an AMEN! What a neat verse and so true and I love that its Psalm 118. I think its fast becoming one of my favorite psalms besides 100 and 127. I am dealing with the crazies of prometrium again, boy does that stuff kick my butt, no other way to put it. It throws me in to a truly drugged state LOL I think maybe this stuff should be a pain killer it's quite the interesting drug. Though I know it doesnt cause this much problem for most but it sends me in to the land of the doped for a couple hours. Hence why I take it at night. So some goals in the two week wait. Number 1 hahahaha is to wait to test until the day I am due for my period. Second goal to work on getting the house clean and organized and be a better coridinator of all. Third is to keep up with our schedules better. So there is my two week wait goal list to keep me busy. LOL only 12 days to go

Not feeling it

Well I am not feeling like this is the month. I had horrible quality cm and wouldn't have even expected ovulation this week based on my normal symptoms vs what I had but I was pretty sure I was. Not anything I can do about it but wait and see and hope I am wrong. I start progesterone tomorrow I definitely ovulated sometime between yesterday evening and this afternoon. Took care of business properly and I guess time will tell I am officically in the countdown to test 14 days away. I am not sure if I will test before my period is due or not. LOL Of course I say that and well you know how that works out don't you? The actual getting to that point just never works out that way. Its virtually impossible NOT to test early well I suppose its not totally impossible some women who are trying always manage to wait but hey if your obsessive like me, well ummm it doesn't work. So LOL for my small group who I share this with right now. Pray for me I mean I obviously really want a BFP just don't want to set myself up for another crappy outcome.....

YAY!!!

LOL I wish it was a positive pregnancy test YAY alas it isn't its a positive OPK YAY! Anyhow just awesomely excited I can not tell you the last time I ovulated so early in a cycle LOL if I ever did it was long before I started keeping track so this is really cool news. Had my yearly today it was fine. Didn't want to do a follicle check which was a surprise he is usually not this hands off but hey I am cool with it. I expect to ovulate no later than day 15 which is makes me mega happy I haven't had a chance to have this short of a legitimate cycle oh EVER! Please pray that this is it and its a nice sticky bfp at the end of this cycle I am so done with all the garbage. Game plan is one more cycle on clomid then he wants to do some follicle check cycles. He wants to do a SA as well if I am not by the next cycle and I am just not so sure about that. We wont do and IUI so even if the results came back bad all it would change is well nothing. At that point I wouldnt do any drugs other than progesterone because who knows when and if it would happen. So thats it. Pray for it to be it and for a nice bfp. I am sure I will have some tales to share during the two week wait. Oh my breasts are tender this time, thats new. Ok so here we go again. Come on O.....

Cd12

Tomorrow is Gyn day and I am getting closer to getting a positive on my opk so we will see what tomorrow brings. Lines are definitely getting darker so its a start. I am having that achey feeling going again so I am thinking probably by Friday on my own. I think I will get the first positive in the next day or two. I think Wednesday at the latest will be the first positive. Baby girl got moved out of the bedroom tonight and in to the big girls room. Should make this week easier and less inhibiting LOL nothing like having to spend time together with little miss in her crib right next to the bed. Busy week in general this week but I am committed to whatever it takes to get pregnant. I will update tomorrow as to what comes of the appt and the trigger shot. Still havent decided about that hmmmmmm guess tomorrow will be the deciding factor

Sigh

Well in good news my paper is done! I can relax in the big picture and am looking forward to some just plain ole relaxation. Well not totally since I have to clean house seriously but hey thats alright! So I wish I had something fun or witty to say but not today. I am just waiting to ovulate. I have a gyn appt on the 27th for my yearly so I will be curious to see where he goes. I am guessing he is going to do a u/s when he realizes where I am in my cycle and see where I am follicle wise. I am not sure about a trigger shot as the only two times I have had them I responded poorly to them. I didnt ovulate for several days after I should have. So not sure that is the way I want to go, I can decide that when I get there I suppose.

CD 10

Feeling really cranky today. Very crabby and flighty. Anyhow decided better take a step back and work on not saying anything before I think about I have been snappy several times today with a friend, don't know if she realized it or not, but I sure did. I really am hoping for a day 14 ovulation, not sure that is going to happen. Hey at least I know that I have been ovulating shortly after or around day 18 so either way shouldnt be to long. I will update when there is something to update. Staying pretty good about the met. I am considering trying the otc gummy prenates i am starting to have pill issues so I am thinking it might not be a bad idea. More to come soon LOL

Update to meltdown

First I might have another one with this stupid BLOG! Anyhow my mom told me what was going on. She apparently is going to Tennessee to help my uncle who is having surgery. I feel much better. I had a rotten moody day. It has passed and all is well in the land of craziness and clomid

Update to meltdown

Well so my mom talked. Apparently she is going to Tennessee to help my uncle. I feel better about it and all my upset was for nothing. Love clomid! Flipping mood swings. Anyhow I feel better and all is well in the land of craziness and clomid

Drugs or legit

Who knows! All I know is I am upset. I really am starting to think my mom is going to move. Yeah I know she is grown and has every right to move if that is what she wants to do. So why am I so upset? Well for one we are used to having her here. We come and go as we please but its been nice to know there is an adult in the house when we aren't here. Again fine we lived with it before and we will live with it if she leaves. I think my second issue the fact that we have painted, moved rooms etc because she IS here. If we knew she was planning on leaving we wouldnt have done some of the work we have done because we wouldn't leave the kids in the rooms their in. Third the water purifier we have, the HUGE cable bill oh just the little things that are what they are because she is here. I don't know I know it will be ok if she does move but I am just not ready for it yet. Ahhh what can I do? Craig says ask her but really so what? I mean she is grown, beyond grown so if she goes she goes. I just hate to turn everything back to normal and rearrange everything AGAIN to have her decide to come home. I am just out of sorts with it all. Can't decide if its the drugs or legitimate upset speaking. Ok done I have let it out, still don't feel any better but what can you do? NOTHING!

Cd 6

Ahhhh I so hate this part LOL I guess there are no good parts in the whole process accept maybe the bfp and what goes on from there. LOL so now I wait to O and this time is crazy, then the two week wait and that wait stinks LOL so no good times in the waiting:) Fortunately school is almost over, couldnt be better timing as I have to say that I am so done with this class and school for the year. I have a hard time concentrating on things and having school out of the way will help. So waiting for O.....

WOW Revelation

So I was saying my prayers last night as usual and was saying my usual prayer for a healthy pregnancy,baby and ending up with a baby or two;) in my arms. Well as I have said before I have struggled with the interventions of using clomid so its been one of those things that from time to time I question then it hit me last night when I was praying that it truly is God in control clomid or not he still controls whether that pregnancy will occur period! My thoughts and concerns about doing something like clomid really aren't founded totally as the fact still remains whether I use it or not a conception may not occur on it as well as off it so in the end HE is the one who is ultimately in charge no matter what. I feel much better about the whole situation. I mean I never felt horribly off as I am ovulating on my own I just really needed it to help with the LPD and strengthen ovulation. In the end I could take any number of medications but without God's hands in the whole success of it, it would not happen. He is awesome!

CD1

Well right on time CD1 is here. I was a little surprised because I thought I might have a few day delay with the higher amount of progesterone trying to sustain pregnancy but nope came this afternoon. I am relieved it happened so fast. I started clomid today in hopes of ovulating sooner. took it this evening as af started late this afternoon but starting tomorrow through the next 4 days of dosing I will take it in the afternoon. I prefer it then. So Met 500 3x a day and 50mgs clomid days 1-5 and hopefully I will ovulate a bit sooner then cd 20. Here we go again, hopefully for the last time this round.

CD1

What a relief no long wait and its here right on time. Today is the day it was due anyhow so I am glad that it came on time makes the wait less. Took first dose of clomid tonight and will move it down to taking it in the afternoon from here on out I wanted to try taking it days 1-5 after a bit of research we will essssssssssA

Update again

Got the call from Marci. Dr D approved the script so I am taking it days 1-5 50 mg. I am excited about having it earlier and hopefully this will shorten my cycle length and give a higher chance of a success. I am also working on taking my met more seriously and my prenates as well. All can only help. So now to just wait for my period to start. I think by Friday at the latest

negative beta

Is it terrible to say I am relieved? I am completely relieved. I know I was pregnant I have no doubt about that but the negative test makes it easier to move on then to have to go through garbage of doing more labs etc so honestly it's a relief to have that negative. At least I know I can stop the progesterone and get my period with no concerns over what I might have done. I know I did get pregnant so that is good too since I know it can happen, though not the end I would have wanted a baby in my arms is obivously what my preference would have been but to go through a true full blown miscarriage. I will take this experience over that any day. Now I am waiting for another call regarding getting a script and I am hoping that, that will happen easily this time. I really think it's needed and will only help the situation. Next if I get it then I will take it nice and early in hopes of bringing ovulation earlier in the cycle. Day 14 would be fabulous, also learned something from last month my body is naturally working as well since I ovulated on day 20 and that was with a very late clomid start. That is really an awesome thing it means my body is starting to behave a bit more. Also my lp extended well with the progesterone and pregnancy even with how brief it was. That bodes well for the next time that as long as the pregnancy is viable I have a good chance of a continuing pregnancy. So now to wait for cd 1. Here we go again.......

Chemical pregnancy

Well it looks like I am having my first ever chemical pregnancy. I am definitely disappointed but there is good in it. At least I know I can get pregnant. I was just so excited and hopeful about having a Dec baby. So much excitment at that time of year, what a blessing it would have been. Here we go again I dont have a Jan baby so that would be cool too. I am going to keep concetrating on the positive and it truly is in God's time so on to the next month.

good day

Well so far no spotting today. Good news with that. I am starting to have nausea and tiredness both of which I will take! I will test again tomorrow. I forgot how easy it is to take a million tests LOL and I have no dollar stores around. I better lay off or I am going to spend a small fortune in tests. I am praying to see some darker lines tomorrow. Fingers crossed

12 dpo

two more positive tests today. Very light but positive still. No spotting yet this morning. So it's just another wait and see day. I will call the OB tomorrow to get a beta and progesterone to see where my progesterone is and go from there. Just another day to get through right now

Took a test

and it was positive,however lets not get to excited I am still having some spotting and some of it is red, not serious but there none the less and I am starting to figure its a chemical pregnancy of course only time will tell. I am praying that it isnt and that this is really it and its just some funky spotting. Though I have a hard time after three miscarriages I have a hard time thinking nothing but the worst with any form of bleeding and a positive test. So time will just have to wait and see what happens.

spotting again

Going to test but pretty sure that another month is down so here we go again. Spotting again so chances are that my period is going to start tomorrow. So they say only a 20% chance of success each month. Still frustrating. 4th cycle down. I know, I know average is 6 and a bit longer for being over the hill. Not sure what this cycle will hold and what I will do. I might just take a breather and see what happens.

evening update

No period YAY! Upped the progesterone to 400 and I hate the side effects. Worth it though. Hopefully this will help I can test Tuesday and if I am I should get a postive.

Little bit of frustration

UGH So last night I started cramping and having some spotting at only 9dpo. Talk about being frustrated. I thought seriously this early, even if I was pregnant it wouldnt have a chance to implant since that is again way to early to start. I upped the progesterone to 400 mgs and it stopped so hopefully if I am pregnant this gives me a chance. I am likely going to be much more hands on first tri when I am pg this time than I was with #8. I am not very happy about that. Oh well, what we are willing to go through for the end result. I would walk up hill both ways in the snow,barefoot.....:)

The prometrium train

Well I am doing much better on it now. I am guessing that my pure exhustion was contributing to the wacky symptoms that were occuring. Much better now. So now its just the wait and see. I should be able to test in a week or I will have my period one way or another I should know if this cycle is it or another bust. Praying its it!

Easter Sunday 4 dpo

Well obviously the wait is on. The prometrium is definitely causing some crazy symptoms. Not sure why I am reacting this way this time but I seem to be having a crazy strong reaction to it this time. Hopefully it will ease some soon. Time will tell and for now its just riding the two week wait ride.

WOAH Prometrium

Ok so I am whipped today! Have been cleaning like an insane person for days since the family will be here for Easter. I read somewhere that you should take your prometrium at night since it could cause drowsiness. I went to stand up and my whole world swayed, it was crazy, I could barely walk and then I went to make cookies and it was crazy, I put way to much flour in, had to go back and remake the wet mixture and in doing so I spilled the vanilla, dropped an egg, and barely got it together. All I can think of is the fact that I am way overtired has really thrown me off. Hopefully tomorrow will be abetter day with it, not sure I can handle feeling like I am in lala land for the next however many days, LOL hopefully a lot due to pregnancy;)