Halloween

It was a great Halloween overall, the kids had a great time. I enjoyed it even in the midst of what I should be enjoying. I did well in the big picture. The only slight meltdown I had was when I started to think about how well the jacket I was wearing fit me. It shouldnt have fit me at all, I should have been enjoying a nice round belly with a baby kicking in it. I fortunately managed to talk myself down fairly fast which was a blessing, I really had the potential of going south really fast. I hate this so much, I want to still be pregnant and doing what I should instead of trying to figure out how to get through the day without missing her so much that my heart feels like it will break in a million pieces. I just want to wake up from this nightmare. I know it will happen again just hoping soon.