Discouraged

So where do I start? I guess with the negative test today. It really upset me though I knew that there was a good chance that it would happen but it still it's an emotional thing when all I want to be is pregnant and trying to move forward with having another baby. It weighed all day on my mind. I obsessed from googling when does implantation occur, to checking out the clearplan monitor again, to checking when period calculators say my period should be here. Then getting upset that the negative probably is a negative, getting hopeful that maybe I took a test to early, to getting sad that here we go again on to another trying month. I ended up getting called in to work and on the way to work while driving I started to get really upset and ended up having to stop and throw it at God. My knees hit the floor while driving( well not literally but you know what I mean) and I gave it all to God, my fears, my sadness, my anger, my frustration and said God take this from me I can't keep doing this alone, help me to get through this because I need your help. I kept driving towards work and in distance I saw what looked like a a rainbow in the clouds. it wasn't a full rainbow but I could see the hues in the clouds. Then I lost site of it and kept driving and wondering if I was really seeing what I thought I was, a couple other times I saw it as well. I finally was almost to work and in the distance on the horizon I could see the full spectrum of rainbow colors in the clouds. I fought back tears, there was my rainbow, and God was again speaking so clearly to me. Have peace and faith your rainbow is on the horizon. In case you didn't know baby's that come after a loss are often referred to as rainbow baby's. So I don't know when but I know it will come, we will be blessed with our rainbow baby.