Hope our Hope

So today is a poigniant day in this journey. Today is the day that our sweet baby girl Hope was supposed to join our family. I try not to dwell on it to much because I can totally picture how today and the next several days would have gone as I had already planned them in my head starting in the few weeks after I found out what my due date was. I was so excited to have such a cool section date and one that would always be remembered. It was going to be just so perfect because the kids have a 3 day weekend over the weekend of the 14th so baby girl and I would be coming home on Saturday and the kids would have an extra day to spend with their new baby before going back to school. It was so perfect, but like all "perfect" things it wasn't meant to be, there is no such thing as perfect. Her due date is around the corner and again I expect it to be a bit of a ride that day too. I am thankful that I have my Lord and saviour through all of this, knowing Hope is in heaven makes this easier to go through. I will see sweet baby girl again some day and I am looking so forward to that day, when we meet her but her brother and sisters that were there before her. I have also been working at focusing my being around the baby growing inside me. I am still not to the point of loving this baby so much that I can accept that he or she wouldn't be here if Hope was being born today but I am getting there. I love how active Bob is and watching him or her grow on the u/s and the amazing gift this pregnancy is. My pain is easing when it comes to Hope but she will always have a very special place in my heart.