one month

Yesterday marked a month since we got the news that our baby girl was gone. I was doing ok yesterday but today has been rough. I have nothing to remember her by other than my dreams for her and of her and its hard not to have something of substance to remember her by. I wish there weren't set backs its hard. I do ok for days and then its a set back. Its so frustrating though I know normal. I just wish this was a dream and I could wake up from this horrible nightmare and it would all be fine and she would be growing and kicking in my stomach. Instead I am waiting for my period to start and feeling empty. Its so hard to explain its like each day is a shell of a day waiting for it to feel better. Living is just an existence, I know at some point it will feel like it's fulfilling again but for now it just is.