One of those days

I had a tough day today. I am finding that I have a tough time in larger social groups its been something I have struggled with since losing the baby. It just is a tough thing for me. Today I decided I would be starting back to my moms group. I had stopped going last year with Craig being home I didnt need to get out for the adult socialization like I did before. I got up got dressed and in the car and the doubt started. Stopped for mcdees full of doubt. Started driving and doubt was there still. I was listening to my Christian radio station and they hosts started talking about God and how he loves us and is there when we are in pain, , how even when were in so much pain God is there even though its at those times we tend to feel it the least and how we love our children as parents and how God loves us so much as our heavenly father. I kept driving with tears in my eyes....I still was doubtful but kept going. I was about 10 mins away from Church when they played a song called Hope by newsboys and I thought WOW God is talking to me, I mean our baby's name and what I am trying so desperately to have. Right after that came before the morning plays, here are the words

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

God speaks in so many ways and when we just don't expect it and when we need it the most.