Funky Friday and maybe a reason

Today was a strange day I was doing ok overall but something kept bringing me back to talking about baby Hope today. Couldnt figure out why she was just on my mind a lot. I started the spring/winter turn over and it slapped me in the face the drawer I have been avoiding hoping that I could wait as long as possible is going to have to be cleaned out. It's the drawer with all my maternity clothing I had bought for the fall and winter. I can't do it. I just can't do it. I am going to have to have someone do it for me and not while I am home, I didnt think it would bother me so much but it does. Thursday came a reason. I had to take Jacob to the see the allergist at the same place that the infectious disease specialist office is. Dr K Jacob's dr happened to be in the waiting room and I snagged him and asked if I could talk to him in the hall, I think I probably scared him at first. I told him we had lost the baby at 16.3 wks and that she had died around the time Jacob was dx'd with adenovirus and was it possible that, that is why she died. He said most definitely. I talked to the allergist about it as well and he backed what Dr K had said so though we wont ever know for sure it seems plausible that, that is what caused her death. I guess the good thing is, its kind of a perfect storm situation and isn't likely to repeat itself. I am still waiting for my period to start and its driving me nuts, hopefully soon.