What a day

Yesterday could be summed up in two words IT SUCKED!!! I called my gyn about starting my period and requested to be given clomid and was told he wanted me to wait another cycle, talk about being devastated. I know the only reason I ovulated as soon as I did last cycle was because of the clomid I had. I was so upset. Chances are this will be another 40+ day cycle and so much time will be wasted while I wait for ovulation basically I lose two months instead of one. I am really getting frustrated and just plain ole defeated because that truly is the best way to describe how I feel, defeated. I keep praying and asking for another blessing but I just don't feel heard. It's such a struggle and my heart aches so much right now. My period is terribly heavy as well I am buring through pads like crazy and that doesnt help my mood either. I am glad I have a place to come and just voice it all, I have cried a lot the last couple days. Still praying for that new blessing and wondering if I will ever get it.